{"title":"Brew Crew Monster Apparel","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWelcome to the Brew Crew.\u003c\/strong\u003e ☕⚔️\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is where coffee culture meets bold streetwear. Our apparel collection is designed for those who know that life before coffee is basically a battle zone. From fierce ogre warriors clutching their mugs to designs that perfectly capture your pre-caffeine personality, every piece tells the story of the coffee lover's journey.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCoffee addicts who wear their caffeine dependency with pride\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGamers and fantasy fans with a sense of humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who's basically a different species before their morning brew\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStreetwear lovers who appreciate bold, conversation-starting designs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGift-givers looking for hilariously relatable apparel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eJoin the Brew Crew and let the world know: \u003cem\u003e\"Don't be the human I smell before my coffee.\"\u003c\/em\u003e 👹☕\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePremium quality, eco-friendly materials, and designs that speak to your soul (and your caffeine addiction). Pair with our ceramic mugs for the ultimate coffee lifestyle experience.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"unisex-hoodie","title":"Coffee Warrior Ogre Hoodie - I Smell Human Before Caffeine","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMe before coffee? Basically a hungry ogre ready to eat humans.\u003c\/strong\u003e 👹☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis all-over print hoodie perfectly captures that \"I SMELL HUMAN!\" energy before you've had your morning caffeine. Featuring a fierce ogre warrior on the front and back—complete with his trusty coffee mug on the back (because even ogres need their coffee fix)—plus an axe pattern on the hood for maximum intimidation factor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🎬 Watch the ogre come to life!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/youtube.com\/shorts\/U661CxWItCk\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eSee the \"I SMELL HUMAN! I WILL EAT YOUUUUU!\" animation →\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"Don't be the human I smell before my coffee.\"\u003c\/em\u003e 🪓☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCoffee addicts who relate to pre-caffeine rage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGamers and fantasy fans with a sense of humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who's basically a different species before their morning brew\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStreetwear lovers who appreciate bold, conversation-starting designs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGift-givers looking for something hilariously relatable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e Intimidating hungry ogre warrior (your pre-coffee mood)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBack:\u003c\/strong\u003e Same ogre... casually holding his coffee mug (the real power source)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHood:\u003c\/strong\u003e Axe pattern (because you're armed and dangerous before coffee)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium Quality Features:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e96% recycled polyester, 4% elastane (US\/Mexico manufacturing)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e95% recycled polyester, 5% elastane (Latvia manufacturing)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton-feel fabric face with brushed fleece inside\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble-lined hood with design on both sides\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComes with drawstrings\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOverlock seams for durability\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEco-friendly recycled materials\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're grinding through Monday mornings, late-night gaming sessions, or just need the world to know you're not functional until caffeine hits—this hoodie speaks your language. Pair it with your favorite coffee mug for the ultimate \"don't mess with me\" starter pack.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"I SMELL HUMAN! I WILL EAT YOUUUUU!\"\u003c\/strong\u003e ...at least until I've had my coffee. ☕👹\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWarning: May cause strangers to avoid eye contact before 10 AM. Side effects include increased respect for your personal space and fewer annoying morning conversations. Do not approach wearer before caffeine consumption.\u003c\/em\u003e 😂⚔️☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade-to-order to reduce waste and environmental impact\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips within 2-5 business days\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTracking information provided\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, inside out\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry recommended\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not iron directly on print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWash with similar colors to preserve vibrancy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDisclaimer:\u003c\/strong\u003e In areas where the fabric is double-layered (like pockets), details from the inner fabric layer may subtly show through, especially with lighter designs.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Brew Crew Mugs","offers":[{"title":"2XS \/ White","offer_id":42036518322251,"sku":"9470277_18730","price":50.55,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":42036518355019,"sku":"9470277_18733","price":51.55,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":42036518387787,"sku":"9470277_18736","price":51.55,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":42036518420555,"sku":"9470277_18739","price":51.55,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":42036518453323,"sku":"9470277_18742","price":51.55,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":42036518486091,"sku":"9470277_18745","price":51.55,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":42036518518859,"sku":"9470277_18748","price":53.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":42036518551627,"sku":"9470277_18751","price":55.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ White","offer_id":42036518584395,"sku":"9470277_18754","price":56.83,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ White","offer_id":42036518617163,"sku":"9470277_18757","price":59.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6XL \/ White","offer_id":42036518649931,"sku":"9470277_18760","price":61.13,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/5830\/9195\/files\/all-over-print-recycled-unisex-hoodie-white-back-6968281a30a82.jpg?v=1768433744"},{"product_id":"unisex-cotton-hoodie-i-will-eat-youuuu","title":"I Smell Human Cotton Hoodie - Coffee Ogre Warrior | Brew Crew","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"I SMELL HUMAN! I WILL EAT YOUUUUU!\"\u003c\/strong\u003e ☕ Say it loud, say it proud. This cotton hoodie doesn't hold back—it tells the world exactly how you feel before your morning coffee. Featuring bold text on the front and a fierce ogre warrior on the back (complete with scattered axes for maximum intimidation), this is the ultimate pre-caffeine mood statement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🎬 \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/youtube.com\/shorts\/h-ycmGzrEfc?feature=share\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eWatch the creation come to life! (with music)\u003c\/a\u003e See the timelapse painting process set to Nocturne →\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"Don't be the human I smell before my coffee.\" ☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCoffee addicts who aren't afraid to broadcast their pre-caffeine personality\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGamers and fantasy fans with a bold sense of humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who needs the world to back off until they've had their brew\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStreetwear lovers who appreciate statement pieces\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGift-givers looking for something hilariously honest\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront: Bold text \"I SMELL HUMAN! I WILL EAT YOUUUUU!\" with scattered axes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBack: Full fierce ogre warrior ready for battle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHood: Axe pattern continues (you're armed everywhere)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium Quality Features:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e80% cotton, 20% polyester blend\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft, comfortable fabric perfect for all-day wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMedium-heavy fabric (8.3 oz\/yd² or 280 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic fit with front pouch pocket\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex sizing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear-away label for comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRuns true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're shuffling to the coffee maker on Monday morning, gaming through the night, or just need people to understand your boundaries—this hoodie does the talking for you. Pair it with your favorite coffee mug from our collection for the complete Brew Crew experience. \"I SMELL HUMAN! I WILL EAT YOUUUUU!\" ...but give me coffee first and we can negotiate. ☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAvailable in size:\u003c\/strong\u003e 2XS XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL 5XL 6XL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWarning: Wearing this hoodie may result in people giving you extra personal space before 10 AM. Side effects include fewer unwanted morning conversations, increased respect for your caffeine needs, and strangers nodding in solidarity. Approach with caution (and coffee). ⚔️☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade-to-order to reduce waste and environmental impact\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips within 2-5 business days\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTracking information provided\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, inside out\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry recommended\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not iron directly on print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWash with similar colors to preserve vibrancy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAge restrictions:\u003c\/strong\u003e For adults | \u003cstrong\u003eEU Warranty:\u003c\/strong\u003e 2 years | \u003cstrong\u003eMeets lead and cadmium level requirements\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Brew Crew Mugs ensures that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact us at info@brewcrewmugs.com or write to us 396 Armstrong Ave. SI NY. 10308.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Brew Crew Mugs","offers":[{"title":"2XS \/ White","offer_id":42038029942859,"sku":"9800309_33974","price":56.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":42038029975627,"sku":"9800309_33978","price":56.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":42038030008395,"sku":"9800309_33982","price":56.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":42038030041163,"sku":"9800309_33986","price":56.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":42038030073931,"sku":"9800309_33990","price":56.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":42038030106699,"sku":"9800309_33994","price":56.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":42038030139467,"sku":"9800309_33998","price":58.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":42038030172235,"sku":"9800309_34002","price":61.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ White","offer_id":42038030205003,"sku":"9800309_34006","price":63.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ White","offer_id":42038030237771,"sku":"9800309_34010","price":64.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6XL \/ White","offer_id":42038030270539,"sku":"9800309_34014","price":66.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/5830\/9195\/files\/all-over-print-unisex-cotton-hoodie-white-front-69690c42636f3.jpg?v=1768492154"},{"product_id":"unisex-cotton-hoodie-brew-kenstein-its-alive-but-only-after-a-double-shot-of-espresso","title":"Brew-kenstein Cotton Hoodie - It's Alive! (After Espresso) | Coffee Monster","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"It's alive! ...But only after a double shot of espresso.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e ⚡☕🧟♂️\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Gothic Chronicles: The Withdrawal State\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBefore the morning elixir, Victor's creation was a pitiable sight. His bolts were rusted with lethargy, his green skin pale as a wilted lettuce leaf, and his moans were not of terror, but of a profound, soul-deep craving for a dark roast. He didn't want to terrorize the village; he just wanted a venti latte with oat milk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Anatomy of a Morning Monster\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBefore his morning fix, the Monster is known to roam the misty corridors of his master's castle, stumbling over his own oversized boots. His iconic moans are actually low-frequency complaints about the lack of freshly roasted beans. Locals report that the \"fire\" he feared was actually just the burning sensation of a cheap instant coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePre-Coffee Vital Signs:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚡ \u003cstrong\u003eLow\/Dead Blood Pressure\u003c\/strong\u003e - Barely functioning\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e😤 \u003cstrong\u003eExtreme Irritability\u003c\/strong\u003e - Do not approach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔩 \u003cstrong\u003eLoose Bolt Torque\u003c\/strong\u003e - Everything's falling apart\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚰️ \u003cstrong\u003eGrave Vibe\u003c\/strong\u003e - Literally undead energy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eCreated for the caffeine-deprived undead.\u003c\/em\u003e 💀☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCoffee addicts who are basically monsters before their first cup\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGothic horror fans with a sense of humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who relates to Frankenstein's Monster on a spiritual level (pre-coffee)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRock lovers who need their \"Rock Fuel\" to function\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePeople who \"Burn for What You Love\" (and what you love is coffee)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGift-givers looking for hilariously dark and relatable apparel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBack:\u003c\/strong\u003e Frankenstein's Monster clutching his \"ROCK FUEL\" coffee mug, looking appropriately miserable\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e The Monster shredding guitar with bats flying around, plus \"BURN FOR WHAT YOU LOVE\" and a coffee mug\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSleeves \u0026amp; Hood:\u003c\/strong\u003e Scattered bats everywhere (because spooky coffee vibes) 🦇\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium Quality Features:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e80% cotton, 20% polyester blend\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft, comfortable fabric perfect for shuffling to the coffee maker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMedium-heavy fabric (8.3 oz\/yd² or 280 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic fit with front pouch pocket (for emergency coffee money)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex sizing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear-away label for comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRuns true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're stumbling through Monday mornings like a reanimated corpse, need the world to understand your pre-caffeine state, or just appreciate the perfect mashup of classic horror and coffee culture—this hoodie gets it. Pair it with your favorite ceramic mug from our collection for the complete undead coffee experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"Give him espresso!\"\u003c\/strong\u003e It's the only way to bring this monster back to life. ⚡☕🧟♂️\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWarning: Wearing this hoodie may cause strangers to offer you coffee out of pity. Side effects include increased understanding from fellow caffeine addicts, knowing nods from other monsters, and an overwhelming urge to quote Mary Shelley while waiting in line at the coffee shop. Do not operate heavy machinery (or guitars) before caffeine consumption.\u003c\/em\u003e 😂🎸☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade-to-order to reduce waste and environmental impact\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips within 2-5 business days\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTracking information provided\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, inside out\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry recommended\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not iron directly on print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWash with similar colors to preserve vibrancy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Brew Crew Mugs","offers":[{"title":"2XS \/ White","offer_id":42043167211595,"sku":"7197696_33974","price":56.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":42043167244363,"sku":"7197696_33979","price":56.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":42043167277131,"sku":"7197696_33984","price":56.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":42043167309899,"sku":"7197696_33989","price":56.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":42043167342667,"sku":"7197696_33994","price":56.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":42043167375435,"sku":"7197696_33999","price":56.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":42043167408203,"sku":"7197696_34004","price":59.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":42043167440971,"sku":"7197696_34009","price":61.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ White","offer_id":42043167473739,"sku":"7197696_34014","price":63.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ White","offer_id":42043167506507,"sku":"7197696_34019","price":65.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6XL \/ White","offer_id":42043167539275,"sku":"7197696_34024","price":67.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/5830\/9195\/files\/all-over-print-unisex-cotton-hoodie-white-back-69a5a129303bc.jpg?v=1772466409"},{"product_id":"not-a-morning-monster-sweatshirt-seamless-old","title":"Not a Morning Monster Sweatshirt - Seamless Design | Brew-kenstein Coffee","description":"","brand":"Brew Crew Mugs","offers":[{"title":"2XS","offer_id":42043352973387,"sku":"6752938_33963","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":42043353006155,"sku":"6752938_33964","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":42043353038923,"sku":"6752938_33965","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":42043353071691,"sku":"6752938_33966","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":42043353104459,"sku":"6752938_33967","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":42043353137227,"sku":"6752938_33968","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":42043353169995,"sku":"6752938_33969","price":52.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":42043353202763,"sku":"6752938_33970","price":54.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":42043353235531,"sku":"6752938_33971","price":56.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":42043353268299,"sku":"6752938_33972","price":57.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6XL","offer_id":42043353301067,"sku":"6752938_33973","price":60.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/5830\/9195\/files\/all-over-print-unisex-cotton-sweatshirt-white-back-69a4d6e22c050.jpg?v=1772410602"},{"product_id":"unisex-cotton-sweatshirt-1","title":"Shut the Fuh Cup Sweatshirt - Monster Bride Coffee | Brew Crew","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"SHUT THE FUH CUP\"\u003c\/strong\u003e ⚡☕💀\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA caffeine-deprived Monster Bride is the ultimate portrait of \"reanimation regret,\" trading her iconic hiss for a low, ominous groan. Without her morning jolt, she is less of a \"shocker\" and more of a \"shut down,\" embodying a miserable, high-voltage headache.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🎬 Watch the Monster Bride come to life!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"https:\/\/youtube.com\/shorts\/vCI8UBslPxk\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eSee the painting timelapse →\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Look of \"Dead Until I Sip\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStatic Hair Disaster:\u003c\/strong\u003e Her signature electrified hair lacks its usual vertical precision; instead of a sharp, lightning-bolt streak, it is a frizzy, tangled mess—the 1930s equivalent of a failed \"messy bun\".\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Glazed Gaze:\u003c\/strong\u003e Her wide, startled eyes have been replaced by heavy-lidded, bloodshot stares that say, \"I was better off in the grave\".\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnenthusiastic Aesthetics:\u003c\/strong\u003e Her movements, usually sharp and bird-like, are now sluggish and uncoordinated, as if her internal batteries are at 1%.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Mood: \"We Belong Dead (Quiet)\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Hiss is Gone:\u003c\/strong\u003e Instead of her feral, animalistic screams, she likely responds to any conversation with a single, guttural \"harrumph\".\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMisery with Company:\u003c\/strong\u003e While the original monster seeks companionship, she is currently seeking a dark room and silence; she doesn't just hate her intended mate, she hates the concept of consciousness itself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStitches and Spite:\u003c\/strong\u003e Her neck stitches feel tighter, her platform boots feel heavier, and every lightning strike outside is just a reminder that she is too awake for her own comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCoffee addicts who are literally dead until their first cup\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGothic horror fans with a dark sense of humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who relates to \"reanimation regret\" every morning\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWomen who embrace their inner monster before caffeine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePeople who need the world to just... shut the fuh cup\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGift-givers looking for hilariously honest Gothic apparel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e Monster Bride wrapped in bandages, wild hair, clutching her \"SHUT THE FUH CUP\" mug with that death stare\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBack:\u003c\/strong\u003e Stunning skull with red roses and Gothic lace bat detail at the top\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSleeves:\u003c\/strong\u003e Scattered bats and roses for peak Gothic aesthetic 🦇🌹\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium Quality Features:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e80% cotton, 20% polyester blend\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft, comfortable fabric perfect for your pre-coffee shuffle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMedium-heavy fabric (8.3 oz\/yd² or 280 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic fit without front pocket for seamless design\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex sizing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear-away label for comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRuns true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're stumbling through Monday mornings like a reanimated corpse, need the world to understand your pre-caffeine rage, or just want to channel your inner Gothic queen—this sweatshirt speaks your truth. Pair it with your favorite ceramic mug from our collection and embrace your \"stitches and spite\" energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"We Belong Dead (Quiet)\"\u003c\/strong\u003e - The Monster Bride's new motto before coffee. ⚡☕💀\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWarning: Wearing this sweatshirt may cause strangers to back away slowly. Side effects include increased personal space, fewer unwanted morning conversations, and an overwhelming urge to hiss at anyone who speaks before you've had caffeine. Internal batteries not included. Do not operate heavy machinery or make important decisions before coffee consumption. Lightning strikes may occur.\u003c\/em\u003e 😂⚡☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade-to-order to reduce waste and environmental impact\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips within 2-5 business days\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTracking information provided\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, inside out\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry recommended\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not iron directly on print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWash with similar colors to preserve vibrancy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eImportant:\u003c\/strong\u003e This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Brew Crew Mugs","offers":[{"title":"2XS \/ White","offer_id":42045641457739,"sku":"9822617_33963","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":42045641490507,"sku":"9822617_33964","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":42045641523275,"sku":"9822617_33965","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":42045641556043,"sku":"9822617_33966","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":42045641588811,"sku":"9822617_33967","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":42045641621579,"sku":"9822617_33968","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":42045641654347,"sku":"9822617_33969","price":52.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":42045641687115,"sku":"9822617_33970","price":54.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ White","offer_id":42045641719883,"sku":"9822617_33971","price":56.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ White","offer_id":42045641752651,"sku":"9822617_33972","price":58.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6XL \/ White","offer_id":42045641785419,"sku":"9822617_33973","price":60.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/5830\/9195\/files\/all-over-print-unisex-cotton-sweatshirt-white-front-696c3b51cbef8.jpg?v=1768700806"},{"product_id":"unisex-cotton-sweatshirt-2","title":"I Never Drink Decaf Sweatshirt - Dracula Coffee | Brew Crew","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"I never drink... decaf.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e 🧛♂️☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA caffeine-deprived Dracula is the ultimate portrait of immortal grumpiness. The Count has crossed oceans of time to find... a barista. Because even after centuries of existence, nothing is more terrifying than facing the morning without a proper cup of coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🎬 Watch the Count come to life!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/3XkO4UcwP8E\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eSee the painting timelapse →\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Morning Count: A Grumpy Demeanor\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe is frequently portrayed as a \"morning grouch\" who shouldn't be spoken to until he has had his first cup. Instead of his iconic cape, he might be seen in a disheveled bathrobe—perhaps with stains from a late-night \"snack\" he forgot to wash off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eClassic Dracula Quotes... With a Coffee Twist:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"The roast is the life... and it shall be mine!\"\u003c\/strong\u003e — A play on his declaration from the 1992 film, \"The blood is the life... and it shall be mine!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"I never drink... decaf.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e — A variation of Bela Lugosi's legendary 1931 line, \"I never drink... wine,\" used here to emphasize his need for a real caffeine fix.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"Listen to them, the children of the morning. What caffeine they make!\"\u003c\/strong\u003e — Adapting his observation of howling wolves, \"Listen to them, the children of the night. What music they make!\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"First, a little refreshment to reward my exertions.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e — Using his exact words from the original Bram Stoker novel when he finally prepares to \"feed.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"I have crossed oceans of time to find... a barista.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e — A nod to the 1992 film quote, \"I have crossed oceans of time to find you.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCoffee addicts who have crossed oceans of time to find the perfect cup\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic horror fans who appreciate dark humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who relates to Dracula's morning grouchiness\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePeople who refuse to drink decaf (ever)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGothic aesthetic lovers who need their caffeine fix\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGift-givers looking for elegant, hilarious vampire apparel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dracula in burgundy robe with gold dragon embroidery, Gothic castle windows behind him, clutching his \"I never drink... decaf\" mug with that intense immortal stare\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBack:\u003c\/strong\u003e \"I have crossed oceans of time to find... a barista\" — the ultimate coffee quest\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSleeves:\u003c\/strong\u003e Scattered bats (the children of the morning!) 🦇\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium Quality Features:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e95% cotton, 5% elastane\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft, stretchy fabric perfect for your morning shuffle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMedium-weight fabric (7.8 oz\/yd² or 265 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed fit with drop shoulder\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSlight stretch for comfort and shape retention\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePilling-resistant and durable after multiple washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex sizing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're stumbling through Monday mornings like an immortal vampire, need the world to understand your \"don't speak to me until I've had coffee\" energy, or just want to channel your inner Count—this sweatshirt speaks your truth with Gothic elegance. Pair it with your favorite ceramic mug from our collection and embrace your centuries-old coffee addiction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"The roast is the life... and it shall be mine!\"\u003c\/strong\u003e ☕⚡🧛♂️\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWarning: Wearing this sweatshirt may cause strangers to offer you their espresso out of fear. Side effects include increased personal space, fewer unwanted morning conversations, an overwhelming urge to dramatically declare your need for caffeine, and the sudden ability to cross oceans of time just to find a decent barista. Garlic bread not recommended. Do not operate heavy machinery or make important decisions before coffee consumption. Immortality not included.\u003c\/em\u003e 😂\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade-to-order to reduce waste and environmental impact\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips within 2-5 business days\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTracking information provided\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, inside out\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry recommended\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not iron directly on print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWash with similar colors to preserve vibrancy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧛♂️☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eImportant:\u003c\/strong\u003e This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), \u003cb\u003eBrew Crew Mugs\u003c\/b\u003e ensures that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact us at \u003cb\u003einfo@brewcrewmugs.com\u003c\/b\u003e or write to us \u003cb\u003e396 Armstrong Ave. SI NY. 10308.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Brew Crew Mugs","offers":[{"title":"2XS","offer_id":42047200395339,"sku":"2466282_33963","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":42047200428107,"sku":"2466282_33964","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":42047200460875,"sku":"2466282_33965","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":42047200493643,"sku":"2466282_33966","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":42047200526411,"sku":"2466282_33967","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":42047200559179,"sku":"2466282_33968","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":42047200591947,"sku":"2466282_33969","price":52.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":42047200624715,"sku":"2466282_33970","price":54.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":42047200657483,"sku":"2466282_33971","price":56.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":42047200690251,"sku":"2466282_33972","price":58.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6XL","offer_id":42047200723019,"sku":"2466282_33973","price":60.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/5830\/9195\/files\/all-over-print-unisex-cotton-sweatshirt-white-front-696d674c31e26.jpg?v=1768777600"},{"product_id":"unisex-hoodie-1","title":"Error 404 Cyborg Woman Hoodie - Motivation Not Found Unisex Hoodie | Brew Crew","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eError 404: Motivation Not Found - Insert Dark Roast to Restart\u003c\/strong\u003e 🤖☕💀\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis stunning all-over print unisex hoodie features our hilarious Error 404 Cyborg Woman design with vibrant gradient stripes. The front displays the relatable tech humor message \"Error 404: Motivation Not Found. Insert dark roast to restart personality subroutines,\" while the back showcases the gorgeous cyborg woman holding her coffee mug. Perfect for programmers, tech enthusiasts, and anyone who needs coffee to boot up their brain in the morning. It's sci-fi meets coffee addiction—pure tech humor you can wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🎨 \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/youtube.com\/shorts\/TbDBL_ZDArc?feature=share\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eClick to watch the creation timelapse!\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Story:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eInspired by the universal truth that humans are basically malfunctioning robots before their morning coffee, this hoodie celebrates the tech-savvy coffee addict. The cyborg woman represents our inner operating system that crashes without caffeine, while the \"Error 404\" message perfectly captures that pre-coffee state when motivation.exe has failed to load. The all-over print design with gradient stripes creates a futuristic, cyberpunk aesthetic that's both eye-catching and comfortable. She's a reminder that we all need our dark roast to restart our personality subroutines and function like normal humans—perfect for developers, gamers, tech workers, and anyone who speaks fluent sarcasm and binary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProgrammers and software developers who run on coffee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTech enthusiasts and IT professionals\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGamers who need caffeine to level up\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who relates to \"Error 404\" humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCoffee addicts who can't function before their first cup\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSci-fi and cyberpunk fans\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBrew Crew members who appreciate dark humor and edgy style\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCasual wear with personality and tech flair\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium Quality Features:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAll-over print design with vibrant gradient stripes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit for all body types\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble-lined hood with design on both sides\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite or black premium drawstrings\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBrushed fleece fabric inside for warmth and comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton-feel fabric face\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDrop shoulders for relaxed style\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear away care label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRecycled materials (95% recycled polyester, 5% spandex)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: 9.08 oz.\/yd.² (308 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're coding at 3 AM, gaming through a marathon session, or just need a cozy hoodie that perfectly captures your pre-coffee state—this is your perfect companion. Join the Brew Crew and embrace your inner cyborg in style.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eError 404: Motivation Not Found. Solution: Insert coffee and wear this hoodie.\u003c\/strong\u003e 🤖☕💀\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e💕 Complete the look! \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/tranquilsips.com\/products\/black-glossy-mug-7\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eShop the matching Error 404 Cyborg Woman Mug\u003c\/a\u003e and sip your dark roast in style!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade-to-order to reduce waste and environmental impact\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips within 2-5 business days\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTracking information provided\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, inside out\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry recommended\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not iron directly on print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWash with similar colors to preserve vibrancy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShop the complete \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/tranquilsips.com\/collections\/brew-crew-apparel\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eBrew Crew Apparel Collection\u003c\/a\u003e for more edgy, funny designs!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAge restrictions: For adults\u003cbr\u003eEU Warranty: 2 years\u003cbr\u003eOther compliance information: Meets safety standards.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), \u003cb\u003eBrew Crew Mugs\u003c\/b\u003e ensures that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact us at \u003cb\u003einfo@brewcrewmugs.com\u003c\/b\u003e or write to us \u003cb\u003e396 Armstrong Ave. SI NY. 10308.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Brew Crew Mugs","offers":[{"title":"2XS","offer_id":42088130609227,"sku":"8755692","price":51.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":42088130641995,"sku":"6466847","price":51.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":42088130674763,"sku":"6727803","price":51.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":42088130707531,"sku":"6748470","price":51.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":42088130740299,"sku":"2151190","price":51.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":42088130773067,"sku":"5610788","price":51.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":42088130805835,"sku":"7206185","price":51.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":42088130838603,"sku":"5652356","price":51.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":42088130871371,"sku":"3816200","price":51.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":42088130904139,"sku":"6745230","price":51.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6XL","offer_id":42088130936907,"sku":"9767853","price":51.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/5830\/9195\/files\/all-over-print-recycled-unisex-hoodie-white-back-6970f4875d5ee.jpg?v=1769010359"},{"product_id":"unisex-hoodie-2","title":"Must Have Coffee Dragon Hoodie - Mythical Coffee Dragon Unisex Hoodie | Brew Crew","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhen even dragons need their morning coffee. 🐉☕ This all-over print hoodie features a powerful black dragon clutching a \"MUST HAVE COFFEE\" mug while soaring through dramatic clouds with dynamic speed lines. Teal sleeves and hood showcase a repeating pattern of mystical dragons. The perfect fusion of ancient mythology and modern coffee addiction.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDesign Details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Front \u0026amp; Back: Majestic black dragon holding \"MUST HAVE COFFEE\" mug, flowing through misty clouds\u003cbr\u003e• Sleeves \u0026amp; Hood: Vibrant teal background with repeating dragon motif pattern\u003cbr\u003e• Dynamic speed lines create sense of power and urgency (pre-coffee energy)\u003cbr\u003e• Monochromatic dragon art contrasts beautifully with vibrant teal accents\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium Comfort Features:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 96% recycled polyester, 4% elastane (US\/Mexico manufacturing)\u003cbr\u003e• 95% recycled polyester, 5% elastane (Latvia manufacturing)\u003cbr\u003e• Soft cotton-feel fabric face with brushed fleece inside\u003cbr\u003e• Double-lined hood with full design on both sides\u003cbr\u003e• Unisex relaxed fit\u003cbr\u003e• Adjustable drawstrings\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 9.08 oz\/yd² (308 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Coffee lovers who embrace their fierce, caffeinated side\u003cbr\u003e• Fans of dragon mythology and Asian-inspired art\u003cbr\u003e• Anyone who needs dragon-level caffeine to function\u003cbr\u003e• Cozy mornings that require legendary comfort and coffee\u003cbr\u003e• Making a bold statement: even mythical creatures need their brew\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Made-to-order to reduce waste and environmental impact\u003cbr\u003e• Ships within 2-5 business days\u003cbr\u003e• Tracking information provided\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Machine wash cold, inside out\u003cbr\u003e• Tumble dry low or hang dry recommended\u003cbr\u003e• Do not iron directly on print\u003cbr\u003e• Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e• Wash with similar colors to preserve vibrancy\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePart of the Brew Crew collection - where mythical creatures and coffee obsession collide.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eDisclaimer: In double-layered areas like pockets, inner fabric details may subtly show through with lighter designs.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Brew Crew Mugs","offers":[{"title":"2XS","offer_id":42133395210315,"sku":"5473969_18730","price":51.43,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":42133395243083,"sku":"5473969_10869","price":51.43,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":42133395275851,"sku":"5473969_10870","price":51.43,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":42133395308619,"sku":"5473969_10871","price":51.43,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":42133395341387,"sku":"5473969_10872","price":51.43,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":42133395374155,"sku":"5473969_10873","price":51.43,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":42133395406923,"sku":"5473969_10874","price":53.08,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":42133395439691,"sku":"5473969_10875","price":54.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":42133395472459,"sku":"5473969_18731","price":56.65,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":42133395505227,"sku":"5473969_18732","price":58.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6XL","offer_id":42133395537995,"sku":"5473969_18733","price":59.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/5830\/9195\/files\/all-over-print-recycled-unisex-hoodie-white-front-698a5b09bccdd.jpg?v=1770675024"},{"product_id":"unisex-cotton-hoodie","title":"Brew-kenstein Cotton Hoodie - It's Alive! (After Espresso) | Coffee Monster","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"It's alive! ...But only after a double shot of espresso.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e ⚡☕🧟♂️\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Gothic Chronicles: The Withdrawal State\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBefore the morning elixir, Victor's creation was a pitiable sight. His bolts were rusted with lethargy, his green skin pale as a wilted lettuce leaf, and his moans were not of terror, but of a profound, soul-deep craving for a dark roast. He didn't want to terrorize the village; he just wanted a venti latte with oat milk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Anatomy of a Morning Monster\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBefore his morning fix, the Monster is known to roam the misty corridors of his master's castle, stumbling over his own oversized boots. His iconic moans are actually low-frequency complaints about the lack of freshly roasted beans. Locals report that the \"fire\" he feared was actually just the burning sensation of a cheap instant coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePre-Coffee Vital Signs:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚡ \u003cstrong\u003eLow\/Dead Blood Pressure\u003c\/strong\u003e - Barely functioning\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e😤 \u003cstrong\u003eExtreme Irritability\u003c\/strong\u003e - Do not approach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔩 \u003cstrong\u003eLoose Bolt Torque\u003c\/strong\u003e - Everything's falling apart\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚰️ \u003cstrong\u003eGrave Vibe\u003c\/strong\u003e - Literally undead energy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eCreated for the caffeine-deprived undead.\u003c\/em\u003e 💀☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCoffee addicts who are basically monsters before their first cup\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGothic horror fans with a sense of humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who relates to Frankenstein's Monster on a spiritual level (pre-coffee)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRock lovers who need their \"Rock Fuel\" to function\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePeople who \"Burn for What You Love\" (and what you love is coffee)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGift-givers looking for hilariously dark and relatable apparel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBack:\u003c\/strong\u003e Brew-kenstein Monster clutching his \"ROCK FUEL\" coffee mug, looking appropriately miserable\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e The Monster shredding guitar with bats flying around, plus \"BURN FOR WHAT YOU LOVE\" and a coffee mug\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSleeves \u0026amp; Hood:\u003c\/strong\u003e Scattered bats everywhere (because spooky coffee vibes) 🦇\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium Quality Features:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e80% cotton, 20% polyester blend\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft, comfortable fabric perfect for shuffling to the coffee maker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMedium-heavy fabric (8.3 oz\/yd² or 280 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic fit with front pouch pocket (for emergency coffee money)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex sizing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear-away label for comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRuns true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're stumbling through Monday mornings like a reanimated corpse, need the world to understand your pre-caffeine state, or just appreciate the perfect mashup of classic horror and coffee culture—this hoodie gets it. Pair it with your favorite ceramic mug from our collection for the complete undead coffee experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"Give him espresso!\"\u003c\/strong\u003e It's the only way to bring this monster back to life. ⚡☕🧟♂️\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWarning: Wearing this hoodie may cause strangers to offer you coffee out of pity. Side effects include increased understanding from fellow caffeine addicts, knowing nods from other monsters, and an overwhelming urge to quote Mary Shelley while waiting in line at the coffee shop. Do not operate heavy machinery (or guitars) before caffeine consumption.\u003c\/em\u003e 😂🎸☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade-to-order to reduce waste and environmental impact\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips within 2-5 business days\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTracking information provided\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, inside out\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry recommended\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not iron directly on print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWash with similar colors to preserve vibrancy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Brew Crew Mugs","offers":[{"title":"2XS","offer_id":42180791271499,"sku":"1317974_33974","price":56.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":42180791304267,"sku":"1317974_33975","price":56.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":42180791337035,"sku":"1317974_33976","price":56.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":42180791369803,"sku":"1317974_33977","price":56.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":42180791402571,"sku":"1317974_33978","price":56.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":42180791435339,"sku":"1317974_33979","price":56.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":42180791468107,"sku":"1317974_33980","price":59.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":42180791500875,"sku":"1317974_33981","price":61.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":42180791533643,"sku":"1317974_33982","price":63.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":42180791566411,"sku":"1317974_33983","price":65.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6XL","offer_id":42180791599179,"sku":"1317974_33984","price":67.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/5830\/9195\/files\/all-over-print-unisex-cotton-hoodie-white-front-69a6bee735c91.jpg?v=1772535569"},{"product_id":"unisex-cotton-sweatshirt","title":"Not a Morning Monster Sweatshirt - Seamless Design | Brew-kenstein Coffee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"I'm not a morning monster... I'm just a monster who needs morning coffee.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e 🧟♂️☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✨ SEAMLESS DESIGN - No pocket, no gap, just pure Gothic coffee perfection!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sweatshirt tells the complete story of every coffee addict's morning routine with a beautifully uninterrupted design. Front: Brew-kenstein Monster looking absolutely miserable in his Gothic castle, clutching his \"NOT A MORNING MONSTER\" mug. Back: The same monster shuffling to the fridge in his bathrobe and adorable monster slippers, still desperately holding that coffee mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy the No-Pocket Version?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe seamless design flows perfectly from top to bottom without any gaps—the Gothic architecture, the Monster's expression, and every detail is crisp and uninterrupted. 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Check out our hoodie version with front pouch pocket!\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're stumbling through Monday mornings like a reanimated corpse, need the world to understand your pre-caffeine state, or just want to broadcast that you're \"not a morning monster\" (you're just a regular monster who needs coffee)—this sweatshirt speaks your truth with beautiful, uninterrupted design. Pair it with your favorite ceramic mug from our collection and maybe invest in some monster slippers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"I'm NOT a morning monster!\"\u003c\/strong\u003e ...I'm just caffeinely challenged until further notice. 🧟♂️☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWarning: Wearing this sweatshirt may cause strangers to relate TOO hard. Side effects include knowing nods from fellow coffee addicts, people offering you their espresso out of sympathy, and an overwhelming urge to shuffle everywhere in a bathrobe. Monster slippers not included (but highly recommended). Do not operate heavy machinery or make important decisions before caffeine consumption.\u003c\/em\u003e 😂🩳☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade-to-order to reduce waste and environmental impact\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips within 2-5 business days\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTracking information provided\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, inside out\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry recommended\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not iron directly on print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWash with similar colors to preserve vibrancy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eImportant:\u003c\/strong\u003e This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Brew Crew Mugs","offers":[{"title":"2XS","offer_id":42278175703115,"sku":"3106850_33963","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":42278175735883,"sku":"3106850_33964","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":42278175768651,"sku":"3106850_33965","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":42278175801419,"sku":"3106850_33966","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":42278175834187,"sku":"3106850_33967","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":42278175866955,"sku":"3106850_33968","price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":42278175899723,"sku":"3106850_33969","price":52.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":42278175932491,"sku":"3106850_33970","price":54.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":42278175965259,"sku":"3106850_33971","price":56.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":42278175998027,"sku":"3106850_33972","price":57.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6XL","offer_id":42278176030795,"sku":"3106850_33973","price":59.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/5830\/9195\/files\/all-over-print-unisex-cotton-sweatshirt-white-front-69cea7bf45df7.jpg?v=1775151081"},{"product_id":"at-the-monster-cafe-brew-crew-jersey","title":"At The Monster Café — The Brew Crew Jersey","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eGame day at the Monster Brew. 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