{"product_id":"unisex-cotton-hoodie","title":"Brew-kenstein Cotton Hoodie - It's Alive! (After Espresso) | Coffee Monster","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"It's alive! ...But only after a double shot of espresso.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e ⚡☕🧟♂️\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Gothic Chronicles: The Withdrawal State\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBefore the morning elixir, Victor's creation was a pitiable sight. His bolts were rusted with lethargy, his green skin pale as a wilted lettuce leaf, and his moans were not of terror, but of a profound, soul-deep craving for a dark roast. He didn't want to terrorize the village; he just wanted a venti latte with oat milk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Anatomy of a Morning Monster\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBefore his morning fix, the Monster is known to roam the misty corridors of his master's castle, stumbling over his own oversized boots. His iconic moans are actually low-frequency complaints about the lack of freshly roasted beans. Locals report that the \"fire\" he feared was actually just the burning sensation of a cheap instant coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePre-Coffee Vital Signs:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚡ \u003cstrong\u003eLow\/Dead Blood Pressure\u003c\/strong\u003e - Barely functioning\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e😤 \u003cstrong\u003eExtreme Irritability\u003c\/strong\u003e - Do not approach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e🔩 \u003cstrong\u003eLoose Bolt Torque\u003c\/strong\u003e - Everything's falling apart\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚰️ \u003cstrong\u003eGrave Vibe\u003c\/strong\u003e - Literally undead energy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eCreated for the caffeine-deprived undead.\u003c\/em\u003e 💀☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCoffee addicts who are basically monsters before their first cup\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGothic horror fans with a sense of humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who relates to Frankenstein's Monster on a spiritual level (pre-coffee)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRock lovers who need their \"Rock Fuel\" to function\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePeople who \"Burn for What You Love\" (and what you love is coffee)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGift-givers looking for hilariously dark and relatable apparel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBack:\u003c\/strong\u003e Brew-kenstein Monster clutching his \"ROCK FUEL\" coffee mug, looking appropriately miserable\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFront:\u003c\/strong\u003e The Monster shredding guitar with bats flying around, plus \"BURN FOR WHAT YOU LOVE\" and a coffee mug\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSleeves \u0026amp; Hood:\u003c\/strong\u003e Scattered bats everywhere (because spooky coffee vibes) 🦇\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePremium Quality Features:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e80% cotton, 20% polyester blend\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft, comfortable fabric perfect for shuffling to the coffee maker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMedium-heavy fabric (8.3 oz\/yd² or 280 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic fit with front pouch pocket (for emergency coffee money)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex sizing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear-away label for comfort\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRuns true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you're stumbling through Monday mornings like a reanimated corpse, need the world to understand your pre-caffeine state, or just appreciate the perfect mashup of classic horror and coffee culture—this hoodie gets it. Pair it with your favorite ceramic mug from our collection for the complete undead coffee experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"Give him espresso!\"\u003c\/strong\u003e It's the only way to bring this monster back to life. ⚡☕🧟♂️\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWarning: Wearing this hoodie may cause strangers to offer you coffee out of pity. Side effects include increased understanding from fellow caffeine addicts, knowing nods from other monsters, and an overwhelming urge to quote Mary Shelley while waiting in line at the coffee shop. Do not operate heavy machinery (or guitars) before caffeine consumption.\u003c\/em\u003e 😂🎸☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade-to-order to reduce waste and environmental impact\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips within 2-5 business days\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTracking information provided\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, inside out\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry recommended\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not iron directly on print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWash with similar colors to preserve vibrancy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Brew Crew Mugs","offers":[{"title":"2XS","offer_id":42180791271499,"sku":"1317974_33974","price":50.13,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":42180791304267,"sku":"1317974_33975","price":50.13,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":42180791337035,"sku":"1317974_33976","price":50.13,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":42180791369803,"sku":"1317974_33977","price":50.13,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":42180791402571,"sku":"1317974_33978","price":50.13,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":42180791435339,"sku":"1317974_33979","price":50.13,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":42180791468107,"sku":"1317974_33980","price":52.35,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":42180791500875,"sku":"1317974_33981","price":54.57,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":42180791533643,"sku":"1317974_33982","price":55.9,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":42180791566411,"sku":"1317974_33983","price":57.67,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true},{"title":"6XL","offer_id":42180791599179,"sku":"1317974_33984","price":59.45,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0646\/5830\/9195\/files\/all-over-print-unisex-cotton-hoodie-white-front-69a6bee735c91.jpg?v=1772535569","url":"https:\/\/brewcrewmugs.com\/en-int\/products\/unisex-cotton-hoodie","provider":"Brew Crew Mugs","version":"1.0","type":"link"}